@74ina66's (Chemically Balanced) most faved Tweets...
Friend: I look fat, ugly and out of shape and need to color my hair. Give me a compliment
Me: You have perfect eyesight (?)
Me: You have perfect eyesight (?)
Some guy bummed a cig from my friend & then responded*Thanks! Ur a life saver!* I'm no genius but someone in that equation is doing it wrong
OH:DEFINITION OF FUCKED: when a man has a truck payment, a house payment, a wife AND a girlfriend..and they're all a month late!
A few friends are wine tasting snobs.I annoy them all by pounding my wine and describing the flavors as Chunky,Wine-a-licious or Alcoholy
For Christmas I'm asking Santa for herpes. I just saw a valtrex commercial and those people seem to be having the most fun EVAR!
I just accidently said the word *stumped* to a parapalegic in a wheelchair.....
That's how I roll. Crap...did it again. Being PC is so hard
That's how I roll. Crap...did it again. Being PC is so hard
Pfizer Corp announced that Viagra may soon be available as an energy drink suitable 4 use as a mixer...
Obviously, it won't be a soft drink
Obviously, it won't be a soft drink
HEY! Sir Cumference, Knight of the Salad Bar, how 'bout steppin aside and letting me get some dressing before you drink it all...thanks!
I just picked up my cell phone and checked for a dial tone before trying to dial....there wasn't one for the record. Related: wake and bake
helping a friend gear up 4 mammogram by inserting her bewb in the door of the fridge & slamming/leaning on the door as hard as possible
Yeah dude stare all u want... I know I'm tattooed but I find ur obesity and male pattern beard baldness equally as offputting
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