Favstar wird sogar noch besser, wenn du dich anmeldest.
"I'm gonna be straight with you, I don't really care if Bambi makes it out of that fire." - Me to my little cousin during movie time
Fun way to spice up the holidays: Tell super-religious and conservative grandma that Jesus was an Arab. Sit back & watch the fireworks.
When is Sonic gonna stop with all the ads and release this totally sick Kony everyone's been talking about?
Some old lady left her cat a $13 million fortune. For that much money I'll meow & shit in a box. Actually, I might do that for free.
I'm strongly considering turning my home into a series of massive blanket tents.
If Herman Cain becomes President, when do we go to nationwide 9 pizzas for $9 for 9 days every month? #999Plan
Unless you're giving up midget transvestite amputee farming for Lent, it's not interesting.
I make fun of Sarah Jessica Parker a lot, but I'm gonna let up a little, because it can't be much longer before they make her into glue.
Tori Spelling's boobs have hit the internet. The free world has responded with mass rioting and a series of spontaneous seizures.
Hey asshats that run Wal-Mart, if you start your Black Friday deals at 10 pm on Thursday, it ceases to be Black "Friday".
A dog can pee on another dog if it gets out of line, but if I do that I'm a "sex offender"
Hey, did you guys see they're making a movie about Khloe Kardashian? It's called "The Thing".
Happy National Taco Day, insert generic vagina joke here.
"Well I guess I can use the hammer, but I still don't see how those hearts are gonna fit up there." #CapCon
We need to stop this Kony madness. I love New York style hot dogs too, but not enough to fight a war over it.
No matter what you say, if you start with ”Collipark, Bubba Sparx,” you have my undivided attention.
I'm the fourth best kept secret on Twitter.