DNACowboy

@DNACowboy

The DNA Cowboy

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Following 783
Followers 1,545
240 pounds of caustic, ill-tempered, maladjusted, shameless megalomaniacal evil. And not the least bit ashamed of it. Consider yourself warned...
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@DNACowboy best tweets
Most Favorited Tweets    Most Retweeted Tweets

RT @dbgrady: Egypt, I have faith in you. You survived Transformers 2, you'll survive anything.
What if, instead of brains, zombies fed on tantric energy? Cities full of the undead moaning "Seeeeeexxxxxxxx"....
For some perverse reason, I think it would be funny to fake an orgasm while the TSA pats me down. Then try to bum a cig...
I am at that point where a nice, relaxing prison stay would be worth it if I could strangle a few folks I work with...
@Semper_Fly Had a bunch of Marines with me on Saturday. They had NO problem hoisting a round and shouting "Semper Fly - UH RAH!!!"
@DNACowboy in reply to Semper_Fly
@peasantgirl41 Whiskey Tango Foxtrot? Too traumatized for oral sex? These men need to turn their penises in...
@RightGirl Whatever doesn't kills us entitles us to strong cocktails...
@MarySarahMusic @brwneyedg_23 Did your Dad just corner the market on gorgeous daughters? Welcome aboard, @bryneyedg_23!
@Semper_Fly I deeply enjoy misbehaving with you! It's like Olympic level fun.
@DNACowboy in reply to Semper_Fly
@Semper_Fly @emily_kay You two are amazing. I feel like a little leaguer watching the pros play...
Any trouble I get into tonight is totally not my fault. If you're going to feed me tequila and provide me with gocarts and ATV's...
How can you go wrong when a friendship is based on handguns, money and potent cannabis?
RT @TFLN (732): Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank mgmt and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Overdraft protection doesn't help if your mouth is writing checks your ass can't cash...
@Semper_Fly- A comment about Nickleback - It would really be more acceptable to admit to being a fan of panda porn and choking kittens....
Who invented sobriety? I wanna kill the fucker....
Thank you, dear alcohol, for this brief reprieve from both reality and sanity...
I would like to spank my monkey. Then send the little fucker to his room for what he's done. Little bastard!
"It's a rule of the world that naked girls have to do what men wearing clothes say." http://www.thingsmyboyfriendsays.com/