Just said nigga in the vicinity of a nigga and lived. I have tried the hand of fate and emerged victorious~

Go home phelps, ur drunk pic.twitter.com/f0f4P1AA

Sam and Cat getting their own show? Did Nick just decide "hey, let's take the hottest chicks on our network and give them 30 mins to be hot"

Why the fuck even bother advertising medicine that might cause suicidal thoughts? That's a pretty major side effect.

In brighter news, if I stay up another hour, I can go get sum dem breakfast burritos from da Mac-D's n shove em str8 down mah cockholster!

Twitter gets pretty fucking depressing at nighttime.

I only want to be your one life stand.

"Have you ever wanted to try Extenze male enhancement!?" no, I don't suffer from chronic brokedick like you, you geriatric fuck.

Kanye reaches level 85 in World of Warcraft. "Kanye Quest"

Holy fuck it's 8:30 already. Time flies when LIFE SUCKS.

A long ass fuckin time ago in a town called Kickapoo~

I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing, in all aspects of life.

Go home Tug ur drunk pic.twitter.com/oPzl3EQ0M8

People are out there debating about banning guns but NO ONE IS WORRIED ABOUT PEOPLE STILL SAYING SWAG? Fucking priorities, people. Come on.

I forgot how goddamn hilarious Encyclopedia Dramatica is. My lulzbox hurts now. >:[

Kanye can't find his car keys. Two hours of searching and a box of twinkies later, he finds them on "Kanye Desk".

@shurimpu Kanye decides to brush his teeth after a long day of puking up twinkies. His toothpaste of choice? "Kanye Crest"

Diablo 3 Diablo 3 Diablo 3 Diablo 3 Diablo 3 Diablo 3 Diablo 3 Diablo 3 Diablo 3 Diablo 3 Diablo 3 Diablo 3 Diablo 3 Diablo 3 #diablo3

I want to rewind 13 years where my biggest worry was making sure my pokemon cards didn't get stolen on the playground at school.

Twitter's got me super paranoid lately to the point where I'm convinced everyone is subtweeting me. plz help, the walls have ears