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While it's tempting to call them "baristi" because of the Italian roots, the plural of "barista" is "journalism majors."
The antecedent for "she" in "that's what she said" is generally understood to be "your mom."
Always remember to close all parentheses. We're not paying to air condition the entire paragraph.
Avoid corporate buzzwords such as "paradigm" and "synergy." Simply use "bullshit."
Dates should be formated as MM/DD/YY except for the years 1990 through 1992, which should be denoted in 'Hammer Time.'
"Frak" should only be used if you're fighting Cylons. Are you fighting Cylons? Yeah, didn't think so.
STAR WARS Episodes IV-VI are to be referred to as "The Original Trilogy." Episodes I-III are not to be referred to at all.
When it is raining put a circumflex above all vowels to prêvênt thêm frôm gêttîng wêt.
IT'S - contraction of "it is." ITS - possessive form of "it." ITS' - the most horrible thing you could ever possibly do.
Typing in all capital letters is perceived to be shouting, so only do it when addressing foreigners or the elderly.
The passive voice should be avoided by you.
A "cougar" is a large cat native to North America. An older woman who pursues a younger man is "embarrassing herself."
The plural of "vagina" is "vaginas." The plural of "penis" is gross, nobody wants to read about that.
ATM machine - Machine that makes ATMs.
Replace "situation deteriorated/worsened" with "shit [just] got real." Ex: On day three of the hostage crisis, shit got real.
A "homonym" is a nym attracted to nyms of the same gender.
"Twilight Mom" - a woman above age forty who masturbates to descriptions of teenagers not having sex.
Do not use "Whoomp! There it is!" unless it actually is there.
The plural of apostrophe is "apostrophe's."
Italicize words to give your story that gangsta lean.
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