Favstar wird sogar noch besser, wenn du dich anmeldest.
A thong is like a barbed wire fence, it offers protection while not blocking the view.
Back off bitch before I light the fuse on your tampon.
Twitter: a game of wits involving drunk, horny, pot smoking idiotards dressed up in daddy issues.
Finally. A place I belong.
I just farted and it smelled like the delicious steak I had for dinner....I'm perplexed about my feelings regarding said fart.
Interesting fact.....my nostrils aren't the only orifice that can be stuffed and be dripping at the same time.......
I softly whisper "I can't wait to fuck you" to every old man I meet. Some of them hear me.
My vaca in Mexico was awesome. Just went to the bathroom and a sandcastle fell out of my vagina.
I'd give my asshole cherry up for a handful of bottom of the purse pills.
I kissed a girl last night that my brother lost his virginity to.....I've got to lay off the sauce.
When I said I'd eat you I meant gut u like a pig and gorge on your innards while your still alive. Silly bitch.
Is it racist if I discriminate against orange people?
*please send drugs* - drunk text I sent out to 20 random people last night. Including mother.
Guys just don't understand that in the end, all we want is someone to make us laugh.
Plus a big fat throbbing cock.
Remember Marlboro Miles? My mom died so I could have this nifty lawn chair WITH A BUILT IN BEER HOLDER.
Triple threat- I just shit, pissed and vomited all at the same time.
I know I'm in the wrong part of town when I start seeing pay phones.
I was either attacked by hundreds of slugs that left snot trails all over my body..OR..last night was the BEST NIGHT I CANT REMEMBER!
I wasn't born with enough middle fingers.
Bloodshot eyes...killer smokers hack...runny nose...last nights makeup...who wants to fuck?
I'm old enough to know better and way too hot to care.