Favstar wird sogar noch besser, wenn du dich anmeldest.
If you change your Twitter handle AND your avatar, please give me a memory hook in your bio like "professional baby daddy".
Twitter is a place where we can all be alone together.
Remember Paul the psychic octopus? Unemployed since the World Cup ended, he's now on squid row.
If you find an S&M magazine in your kid's room, stay calm and whatever happens, do not spank him.
I plead contemporary insanity.
My neighbor just bought an electric guitar. I'm thinking of getting him a nice chair to match.
Old Italian chefs never die. They just pasta way.
It is very bad Feng Shui to be facing Kanye West.
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I - I took the one with unsecured WiFi.
Everyone is beautiful. You just have to squint a little.
In order to become licensed, a courtroom sketch artist must demonstrate the ability to make defendants look "shifty".
Italian candy king dies in bicycle mishap. I guess living life in the fast lane is only for Ferraris not Ferreros.
I'm so used to juggling several things at a time that I need at least three light bulbs in order to change one.
When you say you love me with every fiber of your being, I can't help but wonder if this was going to be a regular thing.
When you see the blind leading the blind, get the hell out of the way.
I'm not a great artist but I can draw any species of bird flying in a distance.
"You had me at Ohio," said a Japanese in Cleveland.
What kind of an idiot asks rhetorical questions?
I got a new credit card. Some banks never learn.
I love cooking with wine...um, what am I cooking again?
I'm the one you wish you went to school with. #AutismSupport