@Meagan42's (Meagan) most faved Tweets...
Enjoying one of the greatest privileges of adulthood.

You know the one.

Eating brownie batter that I have no intention of baking. Oh yeah.
8
Beef_TonguenhmagpiekristenoversixgunthergreenFinger_BuddyMalkahMrBigFistsjoeschmitt
Punishing you guys for not thinking I'm funny by not sharing my wit.

Did I do what to my nose?

No way, that'd totally spite my face.
7
KensethGirlkristenoversixlinajkCampNicoleJeeNeeBeeMalkahMrBigFists
Invited people to my pity party. No one came. Way to stick to the theme people.
6
nhmagpiejane_botgunthergreenMrBigFistsCampNicoleTerrillific
5.5 month old Baby just told me, with an emphatic cough and a hand over my mouth, that my garlic breath is not appreciated.
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StuffinMyBrainLisaG732roughdictionjane_botOverlandParkerjorshuwah
If you drink enough of the fermented apple juice in the sippy cup you discover under the couch, it totally tastes like champagne.
5
nhmagpielinajkkristenoversixjane_botMrBigFists
Baby is sportin' a comb-over and high-waisted pants.

I've birthed Benjamin Button.
5
GPappalardolinajkCampNicoleJeeNeeBeePaulineTV
Surely a day that starts with baby barf in my armpit can only go up from here.
5
GPappalardoGizzangstaamynicole21Francesca_DCPaulineTV
Feeling so antisocial today, I don't even want to stalk anyone's Facebook.
5
LisaG732GSouderjane_botjoeschmittTerrillific
Instead of "NO!", 2 year old says "no thanks". To EVERYTHING. Proud of his manners but contrary is contrary and YES YOU WILL!!! (please)
4
linajkMrBigFistsjoeschmittCampNicole
I may have to dress the 2yo as an octopus for Halloween, just so I can hear him say "apple-pus" all night.
4
nhmagpielinajkMrBigFistsCampNicole
Been shushing the 2yo for the last 30 min so Baby can nap. I knock something over, and he shushes me. LOLing through the :,-(
4
nhmagpielinajkMrBigFistsCampNicole
It's cool having a moat and all, but will someone give the OCD rain dancer a sedative, please?
4
nhmagpiekristenoversixTrick_or_tweetMrBigFists
Brushed my teeth. Forgot. Drank cranberry juice.

If suicide had a flavor...
4
kristenoversixgunthergreenFinger_BuddyTerrillific
Surely I'm not really the only parent who will be glad when the kids are old enough to pick their own nose.
4
LisaG732amynicole21trixiebootsMrBigFists
Things to hide from the 2yo: knives, meds, pop-up Kleenex boxes, the good cookies, any longing for non-animated tv & dry clean only clothes.
4
linajkCampNicoleamynicole21JeeNeeBee
Synchronized pooping. Is that a thing? Cause my kids will totally win that event. Related: bring diapers. And medals.
4
NotHotnavanaxGSouderamynicole21
I cut my kids hair myself. When else do I get to hold them down & poke them in the head with sharp objects? Besides Torture Tuesdays I mean.
4
GSouderian_WrightcarrmahGoNowGo
Tried to bribe Baby to sleep longer w/a milk bottle spiked w/apple juice. He drank it, then stayed up anyway. My kid's a dirty cop.
3
gunthergreenlinajkCampNicole
I just played the drum til the 2yo took away the drumsticks & hid them.

Payback is a mommy.
3
nhmagpieBeef_Tonguekristenoversix
Potty training stickers saying "You're # 1!" is positive reinforcement.
"You're # 2!" seems a mixed message though.
3
LisaG732CampNicoleamynicole21
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