Favstar wird sogar noch besser, wenn du dich anmeldest.
Jesus's second to last miracle was where his stigmata leaked creme egg goo. Hence Easter.
Wow guys. Time to get excited. Sun for the Bournemouth Summer Ball! I hope you're all equipped for a nice warm swamp party.
Sticks and stones may break your bones but the universe is indifferent to the horrors of life and everyone you know is slowly dying.
Whoever finds my post dance accident corpse in the shower: please cover me with a towel and remove Single Ladies from my play history.
Call centres play calming music and then repeatedly interrupt it with a robot saying you're on hold: Chinese water torture in a digital age.
This week's diet plan is to eat Mini Eggs until I never want to see chocolate again.
I only have 1 goal in life: don't die. So far it's going w
CONTEXT: When posting this tweet I was crossing a very busy road and died.
My new kettle is so terrifyingly loud I thought a train was hurtling towards the house. Added some much needed spice to my pre-bed Horlicks.
I will trade things I have written for money. I will read things you have written for money. I will tell you about the dangers of capitalism for money.