Favstar wird sogar noch besser, wenn du dich anmeldest.
Men: ladies want a man who can breed raptors. Buy these eggs now. All the women will want you if you nurture these raptors into adults. Buy
The bathroom smells like a Goosebumps episode
If bathrooms aren't your save locations then you aren't making REAL video games
the coolest guy on campus walking back to his room at 12:15 on a Friday night with a microwave pizza box under his arm
Dude in front of me at taco bell got an extra dorito taco and almost cried, is now calling his friend to tell him
"I dont see race," said the blind man with poor grammar at the speedway.
April Fools I'm a ghost I died in like the 90's
NC passes amendment to outlaw cissexual marriages. "In 40 years when it's 3026 you're all going to be ashamed of this"
literally unable to breathe from all these haters suckin up all my air. got news for you haters: I got gills
The year is 2036. Amendment Zeta 12 is proposed in Space-North Carolina.
I'm home and not stressed out/depressed 100% of the time so until the soul crushing boredom sets in my tweets probably won't be as funny.
Hide your feelings under dense layers of irony to be a cool guy
Suddenly remembering getting screamed at by three drunk girls last summer because I said I didn't like Tegan and Sara.
Woke up from an accidental nap, had an epiphany concerning the current state of my life, and ate four oatmeal cream pies