twitter needs a "teleport to facefuck your twitter crush" button . hmmm , if only i knew about particle physics and such .

i think cool people get re-incarnated as dogs and the cuntish people come back as cats , mosquitoes and vegans

i wanna tickle your belly button . From the inside . With my cock .

you dirty bitches tweeting about fisting , queefs , blowjobs , butt fucking etc. keep up the good work

tryin to sleep but there is a lone mosquito in my bedroom . fuck it , i'm callin in an airstrike

whats with cunts pleading for shoutouts/sayin they'll give you100 followers. it's all about following clever fuckers then RTing and starring

off to the supermarket for 3 items. if some cunt with full trolley gets in front of me at self checkout again u'll hear about me on the news

i've lost a few followers , i hope it's coz of my filthy fucking mouth and not coz my tweets are actually quite shit

It's only twitter . Say what you want . Even a cancer joke , but I bet you didn't watch your mum die slowly of cancer you fucking cunt .

stoned , drunk and watchin some fucken documentary on giant squid

you know that cunt who sings song lyrics a few seconds early ... i AM that cunt !!!

@davecallantwit i hope Skrillexes next colab is with Anthrax (not the band)

i love how twitter connects us with people from all over the globe . i hate how twitter connects us with people from all over the globe

hey all you brunette girls wearin glasses in your avi's . thankyou ............ straight in the wankbank .

a star without a RT , is like gettin buttfucked without being told you're beautiful .

i wanna throatpunch the entire cast of The Big Bang Theory ... Except that blonde bird . I wanna eat her asshole .

oh fuck yes !!! The morning show will give us a sneak peak inside Beyoncé's cunt . *Actually the last word was probably wardrobe . Not sure

right then , think it's time to unfollow a few tweeps . nothin personal , but it's my fucking twitter so umm fuck off !!!

so when is Halloween , i have to get my "fuck off ya little shitrat , this is fucken Australia and ya not gettin my yummies" ready

that first delicious , frosty cold ale when ya get home from work . Yep . That .