strange people on twitter. that's why I'm here.

What women have taught me:

1) I’m wrong.

Ridin' dirty! #RoadHits #Flowers #GlassPipe Thanks @dank0g for the pipe!! #PPP  http://instagram.com/p/YvaE61Phuk/ 

Before you post another Facebook picture, ask yourself “Will my future grandkids think I’m a fucking idiot?”

Fu*k Ted Nugent - Goldfinger this song makes me laugh every time!! 👍😍  http://youtu.be/I7_sqiGONaU 

Everybody is watching game of thrones.

Meanwhile I'm going to break into their cars.

I don't dream about you anymore.
Occasionally I drink about you.
So there's that.

;) = “Just kidding.”

;( = “You got cum in my eye.”

Twitter proves there are a lot of ugly people out there.

I don't understand why women waste good money on bronzer when Cheetos dust exists

This is the best day of my life.

Whoreders: Buried Alive, In Dicks

Tell me you'll love me forever then leave me the fuck alone.

Only 365 shopping days till next Christmas

Gonna get high as Rudolf's balls

Is there a Shame Eraser for your entire life?

What girl doesn't? pic.twitter.com/Mmfh8uSo

Sext: Stop or I'll shoot

pic.twitter.com/jjDyMASZ

I'm not flirting with you, this is just how I talk to people I like and want to fuck sometime