Amy Winehouse, Janis Joplin, Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix & Kurt Cobain all died at 27. Justin Bieber turns 27 in 2021. Patience, my friends.

In other news, Sweden's credit rating has been downgraded from AAA to ABBA.

Paul Gascoigne arrives in Tahir Square with a chicken, 3 cans of lager and a fishing rod. This could be a long night. #egypt

Any parents whose children are on the streets tonight should be charged with assisting an offender. Agreed? #manchesterriots

#torytvprogrammes Honey I lost the kids in the pub

Loot £3.50 of water from Lidl and you get a 6 month prison sentence. But Fred Goodwin stole billions from RBS and got a 6 figure pension.

Prince Harry's father is said to have laughed off the naked photos saying boys will be boys. However, Prince Charles is said to be livid.

"Things got a bit out of hand & we'd had a few drinks. We smashed the place up and Boris set fire to the toilets" David Cameron,Oxford,1986

@thejeremyvine I asked 100 women what shampoo they used whilst showering. 98 out of 100 replied, "How the hell did you get in here?'"

Most bizarre headline from Tottenham riots "Youths storm McDonalds and start cooking their own food" They must love their chicken nuggets!

Just as well this wedding didn't take place in France. Kate would have been arrested for wearing a veil over her face. @ns_mehdihasan #rw11

That Scottish referendum voting slip in full http://t.co/70lJ9AQA

Beginner's guide to English Law. Tax evasion? No problem. Deputy Head of Al Qaeda? Bailed. Send menacing tweet? GUILTY! #twitterjoketrial

I am appalled by the Met Police's treatment of cyclists in London tonight. RT if you agree. #criticalmass

A Findus lasagne has been discovered under a car park in Leicester. Scientists are trying to confirm it is Richard III's horse.

Just got overtaken by a man in an AA van. He was talking to himself and crying his eyes out. I thought, that guy's heading for a breakdown.

Do I shop at Waitrose? Don't be silly. I've got servants who do that for me. #waitrosereasons

I phoned the LibDem HQ today & asked for a copy of their manifesto. “Sorry, we sold out” me “I know, but can I have a manifesto?” #libdems

BREAKING - Polar bears on Svalbard Island rioting in protest at shooting dead of unarmed bear. Two sleds and a dog train set alight.

Headline "Michael Winner to leave UK after witnessing rioting" Well, I suppose there is a silver lining to every cloud....