@YouSeeMike's (Out of Context) most favourited tweets

@YouSeeMike

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@YouSeeMike's (Out of Context) most faved Tweets...

This bitch in front of me, swerving all over the fucking road, better be tweeting some seriously funny shit.

@YouSeeMike

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I bet cutters really hate it when life hands them lemons.

@YouSeeMike

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Decisions are just regrets waiting to happen.

@YouSeeMike

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My get up and go just beat the shit out of your sit there and watch.

@YouSeeMike

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What could you possibly eat that would lead to a situation where claw marks are left on a toilet seat? I'm asking because I'm scared.

@YouSeeMike

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The only thing cooler than a family band is EVERYTHING FUCKING ELSE.

@YouSeeMike

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Whenever I see a guy under 50 driving below the speed limit at 5:00 PM, I just assume his wife is a huge fucking bitch.

@YouSeeMike

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The boss doesn't like it when I set my IM status to "inebriated" after lunch.

@YouSeeMike

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If this shitty weather doesn't let up, I'm not going have enough depression left for the winter.

@YouSeeMike

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Sometimes I feel too much. Then I run before I get arrested.

@YouSeeMike

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I woke up on your mom's side of the bed today.

@YouSeeMike

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Success is just failure fucking with you.

@YouSeeMike

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Nothing in this country faces a greater threat of extinction than respect.

@YouSeeMike

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I thought I got banned from Favrd, but then I checked my stream and realized I hadn't said anything funny since 3rd grade.

@YouSeeMike

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I just got lotion on my iPhone. That's all I'm willing to disclose.

@YouSeeMike

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When life gives you hand grenades, PULL THE FUCKING PIN.

@YouSeeMike

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I was thinking about cutting back on my drinking, but I'm afraid I might discover that my unrealized potential is really just missing.

@YouSeeMike

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I'm not accusing the lawn of being promiscuous per se, but there sure is a lot of crab grass.

@YouSeeMike

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The warning labels on cigarettes would be more effective if they came with a timeline.

@YouSeeMike

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The dumbest thing I ever did was fix that fucking doorbell.

@YouSeeMike

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