If someone breathes in your fart it taints their soul.

I dont know what has happened but people have started giving me cheese as a gift.

Writing "very available" on a dating website probably isnt going to send out the right message.

This internet only loads porn and twitter.I like that,but i have shit to do today.

I'm not sexist or racist im just a cunt.

If we all tried to be more civil to eachother as much as we try not to do a shit in someone elses home, the world might be different.

These cigarettes make me need to shit all the time.

That moment when you here a bit of an old rave song you used to love and are never able to find it and a bit of you dies forever.That.

I like looking at exercises and ways to get fit and doing fucking none of them.

I'm pretty useless at most things,but when i bend over i can pull a descent handful of hair from my stomach with my belt buckle.Every time.

I don't want to know how the earth,or humans where made.Just tell me what the fuck the people at subway hear when i say no carrot.

Justin beiber in rehab?He's either had too much cough syrup or contracted aids from a sparrow.

I like to play a game and guess what drugs the people in the porno's are on.

Lost a few folowers recently,hopefully there just religious ones.