"@frankoceaan: Stay faithful or stay single."”

“@funnyjokebook: Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, yhuuu typpee lyke diz, use spell check maybe?”

“@gingerproblems: Gingers: Because someone had to have brains AND beauty. #GingerSolutions”

“@extragrumpycat: Nothing beats a beautiful girl with a great singing voice. Except Chris Brown.”

“@extragrumpycat: Am I on twitter? Hell yeah. Did I text back? Fuck no. Did I see your subtweet? Surely did. Do I give a fuck? Fuck no.” 😂😂😂

“@uberfacts: Giving birth is the second most painful thing a human can experience - The first is being burned alive.” That's promising 😳 wtf

“@ohdearoomf: I wish I could wake up next to #oomf every morning.”

“@allknowa: We all know a crazy chick named Courtney” 😒 haha. Oh...

“@allknowa: We all know a cool kid named Larry” my dad. NOT.

“@funnyjokebook: 50% of people learn from their mistakes, the other 50% keep making the mistake over and over again.”