Seeing grown men in cargo shorts pissed me off. put some pants on dudes.

Just made a mix playlist of @slayer and @lemolomusic #yesiamthecoolest

Totally loving the weird, befuddled looks I'm getting at the Croc right now. #blackguyatafolkshow #inawhiteroomwithblackcurtains #cream

I have a feeling this @ottawasenators and @penguins series is going to be one for the ages! #nhl #stanleycupplayoffs

Spiders are our friends people. Tell Gov. Christie to pick on something his own size. Like a Blue Whale. Or a Mastodon. #spidermondays

I love you so much @nhl and nothing will ever change that. DON'T HAVE A LOCKOUT EVER AGAIN! #stanleycupplayoffs #letsgoredwings

Not very professional this morning @bankofamerica There wasn't a lollipop basket available to me after my meager deposit #stepyourgameup

@chrisjoonior why are you calling us dong nerds, cock boy? #thepotcallingthekettleacertainnonseethrucolor

Taureans, we rule the world.

my entire timeline is basically the israel/palestinian conflict. kind of a bummer after a night of partying ;-( #therealityofrealitytweet

If you're a "punk" over the age of 16 and you still wear spikes, you deserve to get beat up. #jockshitallday #thesexpistolssuck #facismrules

One woman is pervertedly fisting the air with a crystal bracelet around her wrist. #imaginaryexhibitionism #Bumbershoot

Sorry the Seattle "Summer" infuriates me. It might be 64 or whatever the fuck it is out here but my blood is boiling. #weatherrage

That fateful moment when you realize that you're so poor that you want to take a nap, if only to forget how poor you are. #foreverbroke

i love how i still retweet stuff even though i have like 33 followers #delusionsofgrandeur

Just saw the fake @wheresyoswaldo on the hill. One of many actually. #peoplebejackingyourflowdude

That moment when a Daft Punk song comes on at the perfect time.

Every time someone drops a slice of pizza at #Sasquatch a Mario brother cries. #whyhaveyouforsakenitsmemario @sasquatchtweet

If you could tell one person to go fuck themselves, who would you choose? #seattle #choosewisely #withgreatpowercomesgreatresponsibility

#oppressionallaround is probably my favorite hashtag of the night.