Guys I’m worried that if I’m ever in a fire I’ll get freaked out and ‘pop lock & drop’ instead of ‘stop drop & roll’

i will be SO annoyed if Ice T & Coco have a baby and it is not named after a seasonal beverage

we all had to sign a card for a coworker thats retiring and i just wrote "please take me with you" in it

no YOU'RE taking a pregnancy test in an ihop bathroom

LOOK HOW PATIENTLY IM WAITING FOR HIM TO RESPOND ITS LIKE I DON’T EVEN CARE

brb getting upset over something i made up in my head again

Excuse me, lady working at this ice cream place, but its rude to be moving so slow when there are ppl in line who clearly have broken hearts

What if I just came into work, took like 9 donuts, put them in my bag, then just left.

i saw the best minds of my generation make dat booty clap

If I had a racehorse I'd name it "Gambling is a Serious Illness"

RT if ur afraid of basically everything be honest

. @aaroncarter do you still have this outfit y/n pic.twitter.com/CLprh81x66

star this tweet if you like me so i can show my mom and other hators

RT if ur the worst