@groverviolet's (Dumb Arse) most faved Tweets...
The evil part of me wants to tweet about how much I hate parades and the good part of me says: "Do it! I fucking hate parades too!"
Sitting in a great circle jerk meeting... I'm a considerate attendee because I brought jasmine scented lotion...
Personal Outlook: Potentially single; low self esteem; I look like a Dad to young women. Future Non-Personal Penis Use Outlook: Bleak
I'm acting like a child at Target! I just farted into a plastic storage box, put the top on it and put it back on the shelf... I'm 11...
When I'm in a good humor I hand out stars like I'm making a gift registry. "Oh, I like that. That is so cute. Why didn't I star that?"
I ALWAYS assume women are just being nice until the incidental touch on the arm. Then I don't know because some people are 'touchers'.
My wife must like me again or I must smell like chocolate. I am getting unusual attention from the ladies today.
I saw 2 failure to merge accidents this morning on a 3 mile drive to work. Was there a stupid moon out last night?
For this much drama I need to at least be some woman's sex slave, preferably an incredibly wealthy woman...
Do you remember Adam Sandler singing "I live in my Mother's basement" in Wedding Singer? That's me right now, Ladies?
Told this morning by barrista that her Dad uses the new instant Starbucks in milk. I'm old enough to look like this 20 y.o.'s dad. FML
Tip: To have your favorites shown faster, follow @favstar