"@freshprinceyuup: People still lying when you know the truth #FAIL". < And you watch them get even more covered in their own bullshit.

"@uberfacts: A prostitute is more likely to have sex with a police officer than be arrested by one." < So it's them who write "FTPSNI"? #ha

#notsexy girls who constantly care about what they look like and what people think about them. fuck up and just be comfortable with yourself

happy fucking easter. oh how I love celebrating the death of Jesus Crust the Dinosaur.

Oscar Pistorius was just taking his girlfriend out on Valentines Day.......

@_philsmyth here's my pin sham 237A4C61 hahaha I have no contacts whatsoever. Fucking hate blackberries x

Imagine your dick fell off, like completely dropped off and was lying on the floor, just your own human penis, on the floor, dropped off.

drank a bottle of wine earlier in 10 minutes because i'm a lad on tour #LadsOnTour

women's gymnastic finals = so many good butts

@officialkozzie i'm putting #YEAH into my dj set in august. People need to hear it!

Aint no rest for the w-w-wiiiicked

The Lion, The Witch and The Specky Kid Who Shit Himself

saturday night. sat night. i'm sat in tonight. someone bring me a jack in the box or chicken nuggets.

Jesus christ I was so fucking drunk last night. Look at my tweets. Also, I text my girlfriend about 20 times saying "HANDJOB, HANDJOB" LOL

Spoonging mt xcats to csleep necause im£ dtoo drunk too I lovr my cat sl ove yymyt girlfirend!!!!!! Ove yo nigh nighty you all!!

Irftne fu k so frunk7 mr drtunk!

Meandn hjesus fucing pebnsi dfucking rifhtyght now afuw don fucking care so gfufuckcv drvetyonee

Compleyteytlahvfucking drinbng dfrin g now asnf I nd anrp ure fucked!vcn77 jheusu jcjrishtrs!

WHY DO I LIVE IN THE WORST COUNTRY OF ALL TIME? Seriously, Northern Ireland has fuck all opportunities. Boring, boring assholes.

"@uberfacts: Lions sometimes mate over 50 times in a single day." < Same