Women with big ass dont have their back against the wall,they have their butt against the wall

Some day i want to kill a cat and blame it on curiosity

If you know how to tell a fat woman she is skinny with a serious face..'you my friend has the key to getting laid

Forcing your wife to watch sport then having sex afterwards is classified as marital rape or BDSM?

You are not going to answer that,are you

I just farted nitrous oxide and everybody laughed

My relationship with alcohol is a working progress.,.the more i take the more it works

It's all only God can judge me till you enter a court room

Heaven knows the internet increased my chances of not going through those pearly gates by 100%

Today instead of staring at butts i was staring at tits...i did not get the perv look from ladies they knew it was titty tuesday

If a guy tells you he's eating healthy he's been having sex with the same girl for some time

The only thing women can 'hold against me' is pussy

Want to reduce bureaucracy in government?....let workers report to work drunk

You think weed is a bad thing till you meet next years presidential candidates

When i meet fat people jogging in the morning i stop them out of courtesy and tell them they just dropped a POUND

Heed to weed

My memory is the worst thing since watching obese porn

Guys who use newspapers as toilet paper alway grab the latest tISSUE of their favorite magazine

I've been trying to figure what type of shape is spongebobs dick for about 3 years now

The closest I can come to saying I miss high school is I miss eating rotten meat

Feel the rain on your skin...,song was made for wanking when it's raining