I found your nose. It's in my fucking business again.

Cheers to you boys who make us good girls go bad.

Nice try Mr Douchebag with the Porsche but Id pick the nice guy, blue collar worker with the beat up truck anyday!

Vanilla body wash.... smells amazing.... tastes like shit. Someone needs to figure that out.

Yes I tend to lie when I'm drunk..... on my back.

I really don't spend that much on alcohol and weed if you consider how much cheaper it is than therapy.

You know, when in doubt tits out!

Damn these late night Feed The Starving Children commercials. I really want a sandwich now.

Waiting for my neighbor to go to sleep to sneak my trash can in front of his house. Dont want the trash man to know that freaky shit is mine

Your tongue is the best alarm clock.

This car salesman just said "there's enough room in the back to wrestle and enough in the trunk to hide a body". I think I love him!!

WTF people who wear jeans without pockets on the butt. WTF.

Seriously you are asking "Does the carpet match the drapes?".... Um excuse me but who the fuck has "carpet" anymore?

Cuz sometimes you just gotta be a little dirty! ;)

Sexy underwear = INSTANT confidence!

There is an epidemic out there of fucked up eyebrows.

I figured a wet t-shirt contest would be a profitable & successful event. I am now out of the PTO. :(

Looking thru pics from this weekend I can confirm tiquila DOES make your clothes come off & it requires you to make duck face in every pic.

Jack White. If he was a reg guy walking down the street I wouldn't look twice but on tv with the guitar, I just threw my panties at him.

Ha! Boys are so easily amused. Put a whole banana in your mouth & your an instant rock star \m/ \m/