Favstar wird sogar noch besser, wenn du dich anmeldest.
*answers phone* "Leave your mouth open when you sleep tonight, dude" "Who is this!? Is this a spider!?!?" "*click* *dialtone*"
i’m so fucking stressed after finding out i’m the only one who can prevent forest fires
hoes on my dick because i made a serious mistake while farming
Hello, 911? Yeah, I'm being attacked by Updog. You're on your way?! Wait, no
My name is John Teen and I am looking for the drugs to have fun. I am not a police officer.
Next on Maury Povich: Are we really ALL God's children? We find out when we bring seven billion people and one nervous god to the studio
GUYS!! COME QUICK!!! WHITE HISTORY MONTH IS REAL AND IT'S RIGHT OVER THIS CLIFF
Hey #atheists if God isn't real than explain and answer all the questions on my math homework. Show all the work or else I don't get points
NEW DRINKING GAME: Drink every time your life is bad
Sonny. Sonny. It's Marvin - yr cousin, Marvin SKRILLEX. You know that new sound yr lookin for? Well, listen to THIS *sound of ppl vomiting*
"I'm not here to make Friends" - a random guy who stumbled into the writing room of NBC's Friends
"let's stop killing people" "wow now's not the time to be pushing political agendas"
U.S. army to replace entire force with pet lizards. “This is cooler,” said one military general, age 13
Hey nerd, me & my fellow jocks on the lacrosse team found your surrealist comedy twitter. We think it's second rate, subpar, and derivative
Guy who shouted "BILL BILL BILL" in the Bill Nye The Science Guy intro now works in Congress, announcing the arrival of new legislation
SIM CITY BREAKING NEWS: Idiot can't escape furniture corral and pisses his pants. Waves at invisible presence in sky but there is no god
Seal Team 6 Finds One Last Osama Tape Hovering Above A Half Pipe And Enlist Tony Hawk To Get It
Here's a couple of things Clarissa didn't explain: 9/11
Hello Co-Worker. What is your favorite Water Cooler. This is WaterCooler talk no?. Avert your gaze from my tentacles, they are not important